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The Imperfect but Mindful Parent: Doing Our Best with Dr. Erika Velez

Get ready to take notes, parents! In this episode, we get to talk to Dr. Erika Velez, a clinical psychologist who has helped thousands of individuals find peace through her work. Erika helps improve parent and children relationships and individuals’ relationships with themselves. She mainly aims to help clients find the tools they possess within themselves to reach a higher level of emotional growth.

Tune in as we uncover some important truths of parenting and how we can be the best for our children and for ourselves.

In this episode…

  • Healing our childhood wounds

  • The great awakening

  • Breaking generational cycles of abuse

  • Imperfect parenting

  • Defining discipline

  • Meaningful questions

  • Building healthy, positive relationships

  • Meeting your children’s needs

  • Scheduling special time with your child

  • Connecting with your children

  • Mom’s mental health

  • Self-sacrifice of women

  • Triggers

  • Holding ourselves accountable

  • Resentment

  • Gaslighting- intentionally or unintentionally


“Through my work with adults, I realized that much of the stuff my clients and I were working on together was rooted in their childhood.”

“We are going to be compassionate with ourselves and be realistic about what we are trying to achieve. The first and foremost is being a human. Humans make mistakes and are imperfect. So with that comes imperfect parenting.”

“It is my goal in my work to have healthy, positive relationships with our children where they see us as effective leaders. We can honor them and validate them for what they are feeling and still be the effective leases that they need us to be.”

“It is important to give your children the answers to the most meaningful questions we have as humans, which is ‘Do you see me?’ ‘Do you hear me?’ And, ‘do I matter?”

“Children are really good detectors of presence. We are all guilty of it. Our attention is being pulled in many directions. Our children know this.”

“When you think about who the most inspiring woman is to you, whether it is someone in your life or a public person, what are the qualities that you most admire?” - Nikki Spo

“There is so much to learn when we apologize to our children. We remove the burden from them of being perfect.”

“You had your experience of how things went down, and I had my experience of how things went down. It is not necessarily right or wrong; it is just how I experienced something as a child.” - Nikki Spo


0:00- 3:15 | Introduction

3:15- 10:45 | About Erika’s work

10:45- 17:00 | Building healthy, positive relationships

17:00- 26:50 | Defining discipline and creating boundaries

26:50- 32:30 | Connecting with your children

32:30- 36:40 | The “role” of the mom

36:40- 41:50 | Triggers

41:50- 47:50 | Holding ourselves accountable

47:50- 52:07 | Coming home to ourselves

Connect with Dr. Erica Velez

Connect with Nikki

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