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You’re Not Hard to Love with Paul Scanlon

Hello my friends, welcome back to The Know! I am so thrilled to host today’s guest all the way from across the pond in the UK, Paul Scanlon. Following 30 plus years in the not-for-profit sector, Paul Scanlon now has a focus on empowering and educating people through his online content, courses, mentoring, and speaking. His ability to make complex things simple is a hallmark of his skill as a communicator as well as his belief that it is more important to grow people than things. Today we get to experience a unique one-on-one conversation with him, and we talk about a lot… but the main message here is: YOU ARE NOT HARD TO LOVE. 

In this episode… 

  • Where our beliefs systems come from

  • Worth & value 

  • Nature vs Nurture 

  • Identity 

  • Difficulty with loving & being loved

  • Needing an awakening voice 

  • Ego

  • The Great Awakening

  • Finding your light switch 

  • When the student is ready, the teacher appears


“You are not hard to love, Maybe the issue isn't that. Maybe the issue is you're looking for love from the wrong people. This doesn't mean the people that you're looking to love can't love you at all, but they have this cutoff point beyond which you feel no one can love you fully.” - Paul Scanlon 

“I've had a reckoning with myself about who, what, when, where, and why. All the things about myself came into question. I don't see it, like you said, how many people do as a midlife crisis. I do see it as a midlife unraveling and a reckoning, and an awakening of sorts that I'm very privileged to have arrived at.” - Nikki Spo 

“I think people need an awakening voice in a book, podcast, conversation, or a movie or  TV show. Something random that wakes them up away from their attachment to their egoic identity.” - Paul Scanlon 

“For the lights to come on for someone through what I do It is the most exhilarating, rewarding thing because I was that person. I got no help. All of my awakenings came from struggling and stumbling more than I should have done. That's why now I love to help people turn the light on, but most importantly, my job isn't to keep turning your light on for you, It's to show you where the light switch is.” - Paul Scanlon 

“I want to be publicly and openly sober because I think people need examples of what it can look like, even if it’s not perfect.” - Nikki Spo 

“People don't know that they're not conscious. That's the problem we all have. Everybody thinks that they're conscious. So when we talk to people about being unconscious, they don't know what we mean.” - Paul Scanlon 

“There's this saying that when the student's ready, the teacher appears. What this ancient Eastern wisdom means is that your growth and your education and your waking up, is far more to do with your readiness than it is to do with teachers.” - Paul Scanlon 

“If you can encapsulate your why, your purpose, your wake-up mantra in a piece of jewelry or clothing or a piece of artwork or a tattoo, then go ahead and do that because it's not random. Getting something in your life or on your body that is your story or reminds you of what this cost you is a part of waking up.” - Paul Scanlon 


0:00 - 2:10 | Introduction 

2:10 - 6:40 | Stuff happens to all of us! 

6:40 - 11:35 | Feeling hard to love 

11:35 - 16:55 | Coaching people to happiness / Ego identity 

16:55 - 18:25 | Leading by example & finding your example 

18:25 - 22:10 | Guiding people to their own sense of consciousness and awakening 

22:10 - 26:40 | Time and place of reading a book 

26:40 - 31:15 | Long term love & partnership 

31:15 - 34:45 | Being comfortable in your own skin

34:45 - 36:28 | Outro

Connect with Paul Scanlon 

Connect with Nikki 


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