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Consensual Non-Monogamy and Virtuosity in Relationships with Dr. Joli Hamilton 

What is up my loves and welcome back to The Know! Today we are going to chat about a pretty controversial topic…which is polyamory and consensual non-monogamy with Dr. Joli Hamilton. Dr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside of the lines and she is the founder of the Year of Opening. She has spent the past two decades studying and reimagining what love can be if we open our imaginations to possibilities. Keep an open mind and buckle up babes because it's gonna get hot!

In this episode… 

  • The Jungian approach 

  • Authenticity 

  • Archetype 

  • The child, the self, the shadow, the parent, the other

  • Shadow qualities 

  • Ego strength 

  • Monogamous person vs. polyamorous person 

  • Compersion 


“The Jungian approach is one that looks at everything, every symptom, every symbol as an opportunity to know more, not just about ourselves personally, but also to know about the collective.” - Dr. Joli Hamilton  

“Some of the things that have gotten me through my hardest times in life and the trauma and the really difficult things that I have faced in recent years, especially, is being able to see the beauty in some of the really, really ugly parts of life.” - Nikki Spo

“I need to come to know the child, I need to come to know the parental archetypes, the others, all of the others that we find in our romances, and the shadow. And if I don't recognize the shadow that dark bit that you were talking about in there, that messy horrible evil bit that's in there, if I don't recognize that I'm gonna project it all over other people.” - Dr. Joli Hamilton 

“You can't share your trauma with everybody because not everybody has the capacity to hold it, and that's okay.” - Nikki Spo 

I encourage you to journal, to listen to your dreams, to start writing down what's going on inside of you because if you can start to just sort out what is being projected onto you versus what is authentically yours, that's the beginning of individuation.” - Dr. Joli Hamilton 

“If you feel called to have multiple partners, let's do it well, let's not cheat, and let’s not lie. Let's build a life where this can be done in a nice way that weaves in just the right amount of openness for you and lets you not hurt other people and treat them like objects.” - Dr. Joli Hamilton 


0:00 - 2:55 | Intro 

2:55 - 9:50 | What it means to be a Jungian and archetypal psychologist

9:50 - 12:05 | The concept of archetype 

12:05 - 16:25 | Feeling evil & identifying with shadow qualities 

16:25 - 21:35 | Mental health care 

21:35 - 27:03 | Having a less conventional life 

29:15 - 35:10 | The presence of jealousy 

35:10 - 38:05 | ASECT 

38:05 - 41:00 | “Yes, No, Maybe” lists 

41:00 - 43:15 | Co-parenting relationship 

43:15 - 47:20 | Asking the hard questions 

47:20 - 49:54 | Outro 


Painless Pregnancy is a group of physical therapists located in South Florida who specialize in helping pregnant and postpartum women prevent dysfunction and heal… in the comfort of their own homes. This concierge service has been a game changer for me after my third childbirth, and I am excited to partner with them and offer our Listeners 10% off their first visit with my code NikkiSpo10. Check out to book your appointment!

Connect with Dr. Joli Hamilton 

Connect with Nikki 


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